Do Unto Others



This is Pete - a good friend's dog.  I realize that "doing unto others" can include acts of kindness toward our pets.

There is an amazing power that comes by giving to others that many of us are not even aware of.  I recently learned that by performing acts of kindness and by “doing unto others”, a primitive part of our brains actually “light up” allowing us to feel more joy, to create better health and to actually live longer.  I learned that even contemplating doing something good or kind for someone stimulates the brain to shift away from anxiety or despair, moving us toward inner tranquility, joy and contentment.

Activating this part of the brain is easy – all we have to do is begin to give of ourselves by volunteering a few hours a week, performing “random acts of kindness”, “paying it forward” or engaging in any helping or kind behavior especially without expecting anything in return.  As we “do unto others” with kindness, love and charity, in the end we create our own path for living a longer, healthier and more hope-filled life.

Life Is About the Process

This is a photo of shoes that were being hand made. 

When I decided over a week ago to organize my bedroom closet and shoes, I ended up taking a very circuitous route.  I don’t know why but I first cleaned out some boxes in the basement.  Somehow, it felt like the first best thing to do.  I discovered items I no longer wanted, so I took them to a non-profit - I had checked out their website Wish List earlier that day.  It felt good to do this.

Next, I sorted through and boxed some things from another closet - I'm thinking about having a spring yard sale.  I noticed again that doing this had nothing to do with my original goal but again it felt right.   Next, I checked out a pre-holiday appliance sale ad for a new refrigerator.  I shopped and bought.  It wasn't as impulsive as it sounds - I've been contemplating doing this for two years.  Things sometimes move slowly.

Finally, I got to my bedroom closet and as I was sorting shoes, I realized that getting here had been quite an interesting process and that no matter how many times I got “sidetracked”; it was simply my process of creating forward movement toward this goal.  I have suddenly become very aware that all of my day-to-day, minute-to-minute experiences are generally about process.  As I begin to appreciate this, more and more, the outcome almost doesn't matter - what's important is the process.  Process isn’t about doing it right or wrong, or about how long it takes, or where exactly it leads to and it certainly never, ever has to make sense to anyone else!  Our process is simply our process and ours alone and it is meant to be experienced and enjoyed.

Today, I am appreciating my process, even when it doesn't make sense.  I am always amazed at where it takes me.

Small Steps Approach

 

Deciding to do something, to take action or to make a change in our lives, can sometimes seem overwhelming.  I know from experience that I can find just about every excuse in the book not to do what I really want to do.  I don't know where to start.  The project seems too big.  There isn't enough time or money.  I don't have any experience.  I've never done this before.  There's no one to help me.  What if someone disapproved?  What if I make too many mistakes? There are other more exciting things to do.  And the list goes on.

I once heard it said that if we want to write a book, all we need to do is throw the ending out into the water and then start swimming after it.  This is a "small steps" approach...one stroke at a time...one page at a time...one idea at a time...one task at a time...a minute here...a minute there.  Keeping my eye on the goal but no rush.  Just one thing at a time.  Even thinking about something is a small step in the right direction.

My goal is to clean out a closet this week.  Today, I began by cleaning out a drawer.  I'm happy.  Maybe tomorrow I'll organize my shoes.  Or maybe not.  Small steps.

Strategies for Stress Reduction

It is estimated that well over 70% of all doctor visits in the United States are due to stress. We can’t eliminate stress nor would we want to because without some stress we could not survive.  However, it is when we continue to “react” to external or internal stressors (fight or flight) that we begin to “break down”. 

Remember too that ultimately, the fight or flight reaction is not all bad - it serves to warn us of imminent danger.    However, all too often, we begin to loose perspective and start seeing everything as a “wolf at the door”.  By keeping ourselves in this constant state of tension, stress reactivity and hyper-arousal, a myriad of health problems are ripe to develop such as sleep disorders, headaches, backaches, anxiety, high blood pressure, arrhythmias and other mind/body conditions. 

One quick way to short circuit our tendency to see things from this “crisis” perspective is to adopt several “stress response” strategies.  First, we can learn to respond by consciously giving ourselves time to appraise the situation as well as our thoughts about the situation. We can next choose to slow down and take a few mindful breaths. As we start to relax and become more present, we can view the situation in its fullest context and from a broader vantage point so as to decide what we can do next.

Other stress response strategies include dealing with the situation immediately (taking time to pay a bill today rather than procrastinating and getting charged a late fee).  If it is something that is clearly out of our control (when someone cuts us off on the freeway) we can simply acknowledge it and move on rather than clinging to a strong emotional reaction such as anger.  If it’s something we can deal with at a later time (such as preparing for a meeting next week) we can write it down on our “to do” list and get to it later.

The bottom line is this: more often than not we can take control of situations and events rather than letting them take control of us.  By developing strategies and a solution focused approach to life’s challenges, we can move forward with conscious choice when things come up - as they always will.  In this way, we will protect ourselves from the many harmful affects of on-going or long-term chronic stress reactivity.

2011 all rights reserved Ian Baker Johnson, MS, CEAP, IC®

Understanding & Working With Your Subconscious Mind

Your subconscious is your mastermind.  Think of it as a storage unit. It stores not only leftover thoughts from your day but all your emotions as well.  It holds not only memories, but also stores intelligence and wisdom.  We generally aren't even aware of our subconscious mind, yet it is the driving force behind how we live our lives - how successful or unsuccessful we are.  By working with the subconscious mind, we can actually start to program ourselves for greater happiness and success.

First, know that your subconscious mind works 24/7.  It processes messages all day and all night.  It holds all the answers we seek and is there to help us…we just need to give it some direction for this help to be available.

One of the best ways to start working with your subconscious mind is to start listing what you currently believe to be “true”. Take a piece of paper and on one side list what you believe are your greatest strengths - then list as many possible opportunities that you can think of for working with these strengths. 

Next, list what you believe are your greatest weaknesses as well as listing your greatest fears.  By looking at these four lists each day you will start to create awareness around what you currently believe so that eventually you can cross off items from your weaknesses and fears lists leaving only your strengths and opportunities lists. 

More to come on helping you work with your subconscious mind…

Who Were You at Age 10?

Can you remember who you were and what you liked doing most at age 10 ?  When I ask this question in my happiness workshops, most people not only remember but do so with a smile on their face.  Some report spending hours reading or playing an instrument. Some recall weeks at summer camp, going horseback riding, swimming, doing arts and crafts and making things with their hands.  Some remember the simple pleasure of just being outdoors, riding their bike, or going fishing.  Some remember collecting stamps.

When you stop to think of it, you probably have a lot more in common with who you were at age 10 than you realize and what you enjoyed back then is probably something you would still love now. Too many adults, however, have lost their ability to play because of seeming burdens and responsibilities, but that can easily be changed.

The next time you feel bored or mindlessly turn on your TV looking for something to do, instead, stop and think back to who you were and what you were doing at age 10.  Then, go walk your dog or walk to the library and check out a book; or buy some inexpensive watercolors and paint a picture or join an arts organization.  How about finding a pool and going for a swim or finding a place to go horseback riding?  Maybe going fishing would put a smile on your face as well as in your heart. 

To raise your happiness quotient, just remember who you once were and what you once loved and then just go and be and do.  Go and play - right this minute – just for the fun of it!  Play not only creates more inner happiness but stirs the imagination and recharges the soul as well.

Happiness - Make it a Habit!

For many people, including myself, being a happier person is right up there on my "most important things to do" list.  I personally want this for my health and well-being.  I want to experience as much personal fulfillment, joy and inner contentment as I can because I think it’s a birthright.  I want to experience happiness for no particular reason and certainly not because I have this or that in my life, but just because.  I want to bring happiness to all my life experiences, not just look to life experiences to bring me happiness.

So, what does one do to develop greater happiness?  According to experts on happiness studies, maybe it’s as simple as simply changing our way of thinking and behaving even in the slightest of ways.  Our ability to make new and positive friends, to engage in volunteer activities or to reduce the amount of TV we watch are just some of the many factors that these experts say will increase our level of happiness.

I believe that happiness is a skill that we can learn by practicing new happiness habits.  Along with the His Holiness the Dalai Lama, I believe that happiness is actually both an art and a practice and is something that is within the reach of all.

Being Mindful of Your Inner Voice

Don’t sell yourself short by thinking about how you can’t do something.  Think about what you want and how you can! 

First, listen to your inner voice to really hear what it is saying to you – is there a message that is coming to you in the form of a dream, synchronicities, your intuition, or a vision perhaps? Is there something that God is consistently murmuring in your ear?

Next, try to imagine what the message might mean by playing around with various and possible meanings or outcomes.  Experiment to see what feels right when you “try it on” and if it fits, follow it - if it doesn’t, then let it go. 

Next, organize your idea or message into a plan but don’t over-think it or spend days or weeks analyzing it.  As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Let the bird sing without deciphering the song”.  Allow room for your message to remain infused with a rich amount of mystery. 

Finally, transfer your idea into reality by acting on it.  Sometimes, according to Philip Goldberg in his book The Intuitive Edge, even acting impulsively is a way to practice listening to and honoring your intuition.

Taking action and moving in any direction is better than remaining stuck.  Through movement, you will soon learn to “feel” or sense what direction is right for you.

Being mindful of your inner voice is often the first step in creating a new and better life filled with people, places and/or opportunities that you never knew existed much less for you.

Mindfulness - For Ultimate Stress Reduction & Increased Creativity

Mindfulness is about living in the moment.  Its about learning to stop our puppy minds from chasing around long enough so that we can experience present moment awareness; that's where our True Life is after all - right here in the here and now. 

When the mind takes on such momentum that its impossible to feel the inner self, worry and anxiety easily manifest and stress builds.  Mindfulness meditation and other mindful practices help us to quiet the mind in order to access a realm of deep stillness and peace that is within us all.  While accessing this inner presence, stress and reactivity are reduced and a quiet awareness begins to blossom.  This is the ultimate antidote for stress and incubator for creativity and is truly something that we can all experience.