An Attitude of Impartiality

This is a photo of fallen leaves on a sidewalk that I took a few weeks ago when walking in the rain.
I believe that we are one not just with each other but with all of nature. 



The first of the seven attitudes of mindfulness is in regards to cultivating an attitude whereby we become an impartial observer of our experiences.  In order to become impartial  or non-judgmental however requires that we first become aware of our thoughts.  As we become aware of our thoughts, if we are honest with ourselves, we quickly discover that we are usually judging and reacting to all of our experiences. 

When we react we are actually labeling things as "good" or "bad".  Things that are neutral in our minds are generally too boring to give much attention to.  This pattern of categorizing and judging things and people keeps us locked into "automatic" reactions that we are not even aware of and that have no objective basis.  If you question this, just observe your mind and your thoughts for a 10 minute period and see how much time is spent with liking and disliking.

The ego is our editorial system that classifies everything and creates the filter through which we see things.  As long as we have a "mind-dominated" life, the present moment will always be altered by this filter.  We will never have a direct experience with anything or anyone. 

Through a regular mindfulness meditation practice where we learn to observe our thoughts without attaching, we can learn to be free from our need to feel inferior as well as superior to anyone or anything.  Why is this important?  Because we are all one.

The Importance of Finding Your Own Third Place

Window display at Boswell Book Company featuring the book "The Presidents Hat" by Antoine Laurain. 

There is a theory that says we each need at least three places to go (beside our own residence) where we can just relax and hang-out at the drop of a hat.  It's an important element for our emotional well-being and general health and points to the importance of connection with at least several others on an intimate level.  In today's world however, that "third" place for many isn't grandma's house like it once was, but instead is now a bookstore, a coffee shop or some other more "public" space.

I consider myself lucky because for many years I lived in close proximity to relatives where I could just drop in without much notice.  I felt safe, loved, welcomed and special in their homes.  Today, its harder to fill this need as we often live hundreds if not thousands of miles apart and "dropping in" is out of the question.  Yes, we can drop in with Skype, but its just not the same!

So now, instead of going to mom's or grandma's or to an aunt's house, I personally have chosen a local independent bookstore as one of my "third" places. To me, there is something very special and almost sacred about this place - like visiting an art gallery or an art museum is sacred to me.  I usually go there seeking something bigger than or beyond myself.  I am usually looking for a bit of comfort for my spirit and my soul.  I think as much as anything, I go there seeking the "truth" in some form in a world where so much isn't, and I often find what I'm looking for within the pages of a book.

Interviewed in a recent article in USA Today, Howard Schultz, CEO of Starbucks, said that his stores are positioned to be a "third" place for us in addition to our home and workplace.  Starbucks is intentionally positioned to address our deepest need for "home away from home" and little did we know - we just keep thinking we go there for coffee. 

Getting back to my love for independent bookstores, last week I attended an author presentation at Boswell Book Company on Downer Avenue in Milwaukee.  Antoine Laurain , author of The President's Hat was the guest author, having traveled from Paris on his first American book tour.  He was intelligent, charming, articulate, and humorous and he worked hard on speaking to us in English. I'm so glad to have met him and I'm looking forward to reading the book.

What I'm really getting at is if you love to read or just hang out in a place filled with books, (or like a new friend says, " just to go smell books"), what better place to go than an independent bookstore as your "third" place.  Who knows, you might meet an old friend (I did) or make a new one (I did)or maybe even grab a latte - did you know Boswell's has a Starbucks right next door?  Talk about killing two birds with one stone - or having two "third" places under one roof! The thought of it is almost too much.

Mindfully Eating an Ice Cream Cone



Lydia mindfully eating her first ice cream cone.

I remember what Saki Santorelli said one day when I was training to become a Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction teacher.  He said something like, "If you eat an ice cream cone, eat it slowly, very slowly, take your time, really take your time and enjoy it, lick by lick.  Here is my granddaughter Lydia eating her first ice cream cone.  I think a picture is worth a thousand words, so I'm not going to write any more other than to say I think she's truly focused and having a "present moment experience". 

Mindfulness Meditation Outdoors

Flowers always seem to just "be".  They don't strive. 

I led a mindfulness meditation class this week outdoors.  We engaged in sitting and walking meditation and a body awareness meditation.  As we sat in a grassy area under the trees on a college campus, everyone was truly engaged in learning the practice and not seeming to care about the background noises of an air conditioner, cars, people talking and passing by. It was wonderful being together as a group, hearing the squirrels run thru the trees, seeing the night fall and feeling the air as it cooled. 

As we sat there on our blankets and mats, I reminded everyone, especially those new to mindfulness and meditation, that this was not a self improvement class and that learning to be mindful is not about improving oneself.  It is just the opposite really.  It is about not striving, not trying to get anywhere or be anything other than who we already are, not about acquiring or accomplishing anything but simply experiencing "being". 

Even after years of meditation, I am aware that patience is always required when learning something new.  Just like learning to ride a bike requires patience, so does learning about mindfulness and learning to meditate.  I advised everyone to exercise patience in learning this new practice.  They did.

In today's busy world,  many are left feeling fragmented and out of touch with their true selves.  There are so many distractions pulling us in every direction.  Practicing mindfulness is an antidote - bringing us into the moment and home to our true selves with gentleness and compassion as guiding principles.

The Benefits of Taking a Risk

I did this painting a few months ago and it reminds me of a misty day.

For several months now I've recommitted to walking outdoors every day no matter what the weather. Maybe this winter, I'll change my mind and continue to walk daily but reverse my decision and take shelter within a local mall or health club.  Regardless, it rained today and yet I walked, umbrella in hand and it felt great.  I have to admit, I haven't walked in the rain for a long time.  Where has my inner child been? It was so much fun I can't wait to do it again!

I bring this up because as I was walking, I was aware that I was breaking a recent pattern of behavior.  Today for some unexplained reason, I embraced the rain and realized that as I was getting a bit wet, I was also feeling very happy.  Things started to look different and better in the rain -  I was seeing things with what in mindfulness is called “beginners mind” - seeing things as if for the first time.

Happiness researchers are finding that one really important key to attaining greater happiness and life satisfaction is by doing things that actually feel uncomfortable and/or are risky. Getting out of our comfort zones and taking a risk seems to be the great paradox to experiencing happiness.

On the flip side of the coin, its equally important to do what you know makes you feel good, like playing your favorite CD or visiting the farmer's market to buy your weeks supply of fresh organic produce .  However, from time to time it’s worth doing something that is truly novel, different, difficult, uncertain or even anxiety producing in order to experience more enjoyment and satisfaction in life.  Those who report being the happiest do both and enjoy the rewarding benefits of each. 

 

Mindfulness with Children

  Children are naturals when it comes to curiosity, living in the moment and paying mindful attention.
Here, Alia and Steven have run up ahead to mindfully explore a street newspaper box
while out for a walk in the city with their dad.

 

Spending time with children and being fully present to them is one of the most important gifts we can ever give them.  In our fast-paced lives, there is so much that keeps us from being truly present not only with each other but with our children as well. 

When I come to think of it, I actually believe that we could all take lessons from most youngsters who seem to naturally live life "in the moment".  They focus on what they are doing when they are doing it - however, they too are becoming more and more distracted with outer stimuli and are also finding it increasingly difficult to pay attention and focus. 

Here are some mindfulness exercises to practice being present with children. You'll have fun and so will they. 

 

1.  Mindfulness and Happy Memories:  Sit quietly with your child and together draw or paint pictures of some happy memories of times you're shared together or apart.  Put these pictures on a "happiness wall" you've designated in your home.  Simply experience the beauty of the moment when you sit together and talk about these special stories.

2.  Mindfulness and Listening: Mindful listening can be a great activity to share with a child of any age.  Sit outside and have everyone close their eyes for two minutes.  Then, listen to all the sounds around you. Next, open your eyes and share what sounds you've heard - cars, birds, dogs barking, trains, planes, voices, sirens, the rustling of wind through the trees.  With older children, talk about how mindful listening can help with relationships with friends, teachers or other family members.  Talk about how the sense of hearing is heightened when you close your eyes.

3.  Mindful Smelling: For this exercise, you can choose 4-6 things that have very different scents.  Blindfold the children and ask them to smell each item such as cinnamon, lavender oil, a lemon or orange that has just been cut open, baby powder or a chocolate chip cookie.  Now, see if they can identify what it is that they are smelling.  When you eat dinner, have them slow down and smell each piece of food before they eat it.  See if this changes the way they eat and experience their meal.

"Children are born true scientists.  They spontaneously experiment and experience and re-experience again...They smell, taste, bite, and touch-test for hardness, softness, springiness, roughness, smoothness, coldness, warmness."  - R. Buckminster Fuller

The Practical Side of a Creative Life

 

This is a small landscape painting (one of 30 or more) that I will show for the first time at the Delafield Arts Center on April 12th.  It measures only 6" x 12".  My newest series of paintings are all very small and very intimate images that are loosely expressed and based on years of travel across the US.

There is always a delicate balance between making art, marketing it and managing your business if you are in the business of selling your art. Of course, all artists know which of these three graces is most fun.    However, unless you are simply but joyfully doing art as a creative outlet, equal time needs to be spent on all three aspects.

What I have learned about this process is that when I am making art, I am totally and completely absorbed in making art.  I am not thinking about anything or anyone else.  I am "in the zone".  When I switch hats and am managing my business, I am totally and completely managing my business.  I am mindfully engaged in activities like managing my emails, balancing my check book or creatively finding ways to cut corners on expenses. 

When I am marketing my art, I am mindful of what resources might exist for showing my work, then perhaps I make a few phone calls.

Being present for whatever we do results in attention to detail and a better job done - no matter what it is we are doing.  When we are aware of what we are doing at the time we are doing it and not on auto-pilot, things become more enjoyable, we are directly engaged in the expereince and we get so much more accomplished and with far less stress.

The Source of Creativity

I took this picture yesterday before we got a really big snow!  I loved the view of the tulips and how I had to look thru them to see out the window at the snow outdoors. Photography is a great creative outlet.  The flowers were a gift from my son for my birthday!

 

Giacomo Puccini said, "The music of this opera (Madame Butterfly) was dictated to me by God; I was merely instrumental in putting it on paper and communicating it to the public."

We are creative by nature. We are divinely infused with creativity.  It is innate.  Julia Cameron, author of "The Artist's Way" says that creativity is God's gift to us and that using our creativity is our gift back to God.  One of her principles is that our creative dreams and yearnings come directly from a Divine source and that as we move toward these dreams, we move toward that place in ourselves that is Divine. She states, "...creativity is a fact of your spiritual body and nothing that you must invent."

There are many people today who feel their lives are flat. They feel powerless in creating their hopes and dreams or living a more creative life. I'm wondering if perhaps the first step toward reawakening and reclaiming one's creativity is to simply acknowledge this Divine Source within and then step back and see what begins to happen.  However you define God or whatever your name for this Source, I think its about putting first things first.

 

In the esoteric Judaism of the Cabalah, the Deep Self is named the Neshamah, from the root of Shmhm, "to hear or listen": the Neshamah is She Who Listens, the soul who inspires or guides us.  Starhawk

On Creativity, Chaos and Dancing Stars



I broke away from my usual style of painting on large canvases to paint a series of small 6" x 12" landscapes (example above) on gesso board. At first I felt certain I couldn't paint "small" but only "big" because it had been my style for so long.  I proved myself wrong.

I came across a wonderful quote by Gail Sheehy recently, who said, "Creativity could be described as letting go of certainties."  I think its important to do a "certainty" review every so often in order to throw out our mistaken ones - beliefs where little or no truth any longer exist.

 

It seems that a lot of so-called "certainty" is learned, is repeated and then becomes habit. Carolyn Myss, who is widely recognized for her work in energy medicine and personal/spiritual growth, describes habits (of behavior, thought and/or relationships) as our way of attempting to stop change. And isn't creativity all about change?  Lesson learned: creativity and habit don't make good bed-fellows in the human psyche and eventually we will be impelled to reinvent our world through our own choice or someone elses. 
 

Learning how to provide creative solutions to everyday challenges can free us from being "zoned out" to "being in the zone"  and its anyone's guess what kind of ideas or actions we could generate to make the world a better, more peaceful, more loving or more beautiful place.

I am finally learning to trust getting out there, getting my hands dirty,  mixing things up, messing things up, and creating a little chaos "on purpose".  As the famous German philosopher Nietzsche says, "One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star".

 

Never Worry If You're Lost

 

I loved this sign in a store window. Who hasn't felt lost at different times in their lives? 
 

I remember someone saying once that if you can't have what you want, then change what you want.  Those words have served me well for many years. Similar wisdom, in this store window in Shrewsbury, England, invited me to stop and look.  Was someone trying to tell me something once again?

I have found that trying to change direction in life is about as easy as trying to flatten a map that has been rolled up and stored in one of those cardboard tubes.  No matter how hard you try to flatten it, it just keeps snapping back until you put something on top of it to weight it down. 

Our own "patterns" are just like that.  We see things in a certain way and do things out of habit and wonder why we just keep traveling in the same direction.  We keep ourselves rolled up, just like the map, at work, in our relationships, our lifestyle choices and perhaps even in our spiritual beliefs.  To change direction may take weeks, months or years of practice and conscious effort depending on how deep the conditioning.  About 6 weeks ago I decided to paint on small gesso boards rather than on my usual large stretched canvases. I'm still uncomfortable.